Insight

Since deploying, I'm often asked for funny stories. There's generally something that comes to pass at one time or another that elicits a chuckle, but I rarely have anything significant that jumps to the front of my mind. Today is different. If there are folks looking for insight into the personalities of the members of our unit, this story will give it.

Picture this:

It's 5:45 in the evening on Saturday here. The last light of day is falling behind the skyline, and the temperature starts to fall. SGT Loyd Wright has been looking forward to this football game all week and fully expects Alabama to beat Tennessee. While the game isn't scheduled to start for some time, he wants to make sure all pre-game preparations are in place. He turns on his television. Check. He turns around and finds his favorite chair is properly positioned and ready. Check. His game-day snacks are laid out. Check. Time for the game. What he didn't realize, however, was that every occupant in his building was on the verge of torturing him for the next two hours. SGT Matt Barbee, SFC Ben Boyett, SSG Rusty Edmonson, SSG Donnie Franks, and 1LT Jodee Vick were on their toes, ready to pounce.

Dinner was had, showers were taken, and all were standing by talking about all of the games. The t.v. in Loyd's room is on the background but suddenly cuts off with no notice. No picture. No sound. Nothing. It's simply off. "What in the world," he asks. He walks to it, remote in hand, and pushes the power button. No problem, it's on again. "There," he says. Roughly ten seconds pass. It cuts off yet again. SGT Wright, getting angry now, clicks the remote, turns on the television, and watches as it turns off again. Over and over, as if the television has a mind of its own, it simply refuses to work.

Now he's really angry. Frustrated. Clueless. All the while, there are inaudible giggles throughout the entire building as SGT Wright begins mumbling expletives to himself and then to the television. "What the...?!" Rusty, being the kind soul he is, comes to the rescue. Ben is next. Matt quickly follows. SGT Wright is beside himself, and he begins explaining the issues to them, during which time, and to their obvious surprise, the television turns off. Collectively, they help Loyd decide that the best thing to do would be to disassemble the t.v. set and spray out the dust with compressed air. For the next twenty minutes, he works. "There! That will fix it."

The television is turned on. Ten seconds pass, and it's fine. Twenty seconds pass, no issues. Thirty seconds...it's off. Now he's REALLY angry. Not only that, he's beginning to grow concerned. "Holy cow, if this keeps up I won't even be able to watch any of the games!" He stands up and walks to the t.v. He checks the connections and then decides that he should try to play a DVD to see if the cable was somehow interfering. Yet again, thirty seconds pass, and it turns off. "I'm seriously considering just walking to the PX to buy a new t.v. right now," he says to no one in particular. Now they're all laughing out loud.

Rusty, such a caring friend, walks over. "Hey, do you remember how, on Sanford and Sons, all they did was hit the side of the t.v., and it would usually work?" He walks to the set and lightly taps the side. Sure enough, it turns on. It's working. Loyd mumbles under his breath, "This is crazy." What's even more crazy is that while he's standing in the hallway complaining out his possessed t.v., it turns on and off again. "I'm not even touching the remote!!" The problem now, though, is that after it turns on the volume starts getting louder and louder and won't turn down. Then it turns off. He decides to slap it around a little himself. BAM!! on the left side. Nothing. BAM BAM!! on the right side. Still, nothing. He walks into the hallway again. It turns on.

As the volume starts to increase, SGT Wright turns it back down. When it's at a reasonable level, it turns off. At this point, he says to himself, "I'm just going to have to unplug it. This thing may start a fire!" He looks at the clock, and realizes that it's a quarter to eight. This episode has been going on for two hours. He's had enough. Then, he says out loud, "I guess I'll have to go to the PX and buy a new t.v."

As he's changing clothes, Matt strolls into his room. "Don't go buy a new t.v., it might be something with the remote." Loyd thinks about it, "No, half of the time I wasn't even touching my remote!" "Not THAT remote. This one," As he presents his universal remote from his room that just so happens to also control SGT Wright's television.

He was a great sport about it though, realizing that it was one of the best practical jokes he'd ever witnessed. He was just happy that he didn't have to buy a new t.v. and that he'd be able to watch the game in peace! SGT Barbee admitted that he began to tell him the truth when he watched Loyd carry the television outside to blow off the dust, but realized he was having too much fun to let it go quite yet.

All SGT Wright has to say is, "Hats off to them."