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SPC Bailey Bullock
166th Engineer Company
2nd Platoon
There is a growing sense of finality here on FOB Sharana. Things are on the downward slope; missions are coming to an end, footlockers are being packed, and cargo containers are being loaded. We are now down to less than 50 days, and the reality of our return home is setting in. Of course we are all ready and excited to return to our family, friends, and lives back home, but I can't escape a sense of sadness at the same time. There is no question that a deployment is a unique situation with its fill of challenges, sacrifices, and hardships. But there is no denying the bond that it creates within a unit. Despite differences and aggravations that unavoidably occur when a group of people are constantly around one another for an extended period of time, there is a bond, a permanent link, that occurs at the same time. There are sayings that have no meaning outside of our group; there are jokes that will forever be inside. There are memories of experiences we shared which we will all carry with us. These things now belong to us, are a part of each of us, and they will be from now on. We have gotten to know one another well and are now so used to each other. I know I don't speak only for myself when I say that it is going to be hard to leave these people. We have become a part of each others lives, and when we get home and that is gone, it will be tough.
In my last entry I questioned how this deployment has changed each of us. I believe it is this bond that has done the changing. I know that months down the road, we will all fall back into our routines at home and work. Life will be as it was before. But I truly believe that each of us in this unit will not be as we were before. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that we are going to come back different men and women than the ones that left home almost a year ago. What I mean is that I believe this bond will forever add something to who we are. We will come home more than we were when we left.
I know this is a break from my normal style, but I want to take a second to explain the title of this entry, because it has been named in honor of a soldier I have served with over here. He is SSG Richter, and he came to the 166th Engineer Company from the Individual Ready Reserve (IRR). He and a few others will be the first of our unit to return home (this is due to the fact that IRR soldiers have different deployment orders). In fact, they have already left us and are heading home now. SSG Richter and his – and my – buddy SSG Mabry are big fans of Jeopardy. From what they have told me, they usually watched it together when they were both actually here on FOB Sharana at the same time, which has been a challenging feat to accomplish. The other night we were sitting in the chow hall, trying to eat the food, and the night's episode of Jeopardy was brought up and whether or not the they were going to watch it. The statement was made that it could be their “Final Jeopardy.” That's when it hit me. Our lives and experiences over here will soon be coming to an end. The routines and habits we have developed will stop. The friendships we have developed, as they now exist, will change. Some of us will still be relatively close to one another, geographically speaking, but things will never again be as they are now. It filled me with a sense of impending loss. We are all soldiers, so we will "man up" and deal with this change just as we dealt with the adjustments to deployment life, but we will feel the loss just the same. I now know it is part of it, but it is an unpleasant part, and one I didn't see coming. I am honored to have had this opportunity to serve with men such as SSG Richter, SSG Mabry and many others, whom I now call friends. I will miss them.
While SFC Sanderson couldn't physically be here for the photograph, it's amazing what can be done with Photoshop!
From left to right: MSG Bernard Carnes, SFC Shane Sanderson, SSG Osten Richter, SFC Louis Stephens
So, the snow WAS here. 99% of it has melted now, but we're assured that more is on the way. Either way, Christmas is on the way. Decorations are plentiful, and more find their way in the mail to us and on our walls every day. We can't be at home with our friends and loved ones there, but there's no doubt that we're loved.
The snow you'll see in the next few photos was short-lived, but the forecast calls for more tonight. It won't likely stay long either, with our average temperatures in the mid-30's. Our local forecaster, SSG Rusty Edmonson, claims that the weather will be turning MUCH colder after the turn of the year.
Even with the colder temperatures and the challenge that presents to receiving materials and moving our soldiers around the battlefield, the work goes on. Our departure is nearing, but we'll clearly have a part in continued operations here until JUST before that day arrives. The need for the work we do is soon to increase exponentially with the new troop surge. 
The 920th Engineer Company, contrary to a previous post, is from New Mexico, not Arizona.
SPC Bailey Bullock
166th Engineer Company
2nd Platoon
The thought just occurred to me as to who we are at this point in the deployment. By this time we are all well adjusted to our roles here. We each know our job. We each know the people that we work with and spend time with. But the question just occurred to me: are we different now from when we first left? This question seems to be more and more relevant now that our return home is getting so close. I think in the backs of many of our minds it is one that bothers or even scares us, because the answer is probably “Yes”.
It is very easy to miss change over time. Sudden changes are almost always noticeable, but they are also the most infrequent. Most often in life, in my experience, change is gradual and lengthy, thus it can easily be missed unless you look for it. When I look back at this deployment, I can see how I have adapted to my environment. My language is a little more like a sailor; my definition of clean is a little looser; even my daily habits of sleep and eating are far different than what they were at home.
I don't want to sound like this is a big surprise. It is inevitable for change to occur. For us to be able to function effectively and do our duty, we have to adapt to the situations we find over here. It is part of our training from the very beginning. But what we can't forsee is what will stick with us as a result of adapting. An experience like this can't help but change who you are, even if just a little.
Knowing this, questions begin to arise: how will these changes effect my life at home and are there changes that I can't see? Will they simply fall away once I'm out of this unique situation, or are some of them permanent? Are all of these changes good? Will our families and friends back home understand them, like them, or hate them? Will we be able to turn them off if we need to? I can't say, and don't think that I'm supposed to be able to.
I've seen the commercials on Armed Forces Network talking about the adjustment back to life at home and shrugged them off like most people. While the commercials may be melodramatic, I now see that the issue is real. The return home is a big change for us as well as our families and friends, and it is full of uncertainties that are somewhat unnerving.
I tell you all of this to ask for your understanding and patience when we get home. Even though we are coming home to you, those we know and love, it is going to be an adjustment for all of us again. If we have some bad habits that really grate on you, cut us a little slack. Give us some time. We are still the men and women that left last February, just with a few amendments. And whatever the result of the changes in us that occurred as the result of this deployment, please keep in mind that they are part of our service. They are part of the sacrifice that we all have made to serve our country, and I truly believe that we will all come home better for the experience.
While SFC Sanderson couldn't physically be here for the photograph, it's amazing what can be done with Photoshop!
